Maple Leaf Mommy

A Canadian Mom's Life: Family, Food & Fun

  • Home
  • Mom Life
    • Just My Life
    • From House to Home
    • Motherhood Confessions
    • Tips, Tricks & Hacks
    • Quotes & Inspiration
  • Family
    • Parenting
    • Family Travel
    • Raising Strong Girls
    • Sandwich Generation
    • Silly Kids
  • Food
    • Cooking with Kids
    • Recipes
  • Fun
    • Activities & Fun Stuff
    • Toys That Don’t Suck
    • We Love Books
    • Time Travel
  • About
    • About Me
    • Disclosure & Privacy Policy
    • Contact Me
You are here: Home / Family / In which my Grandmother doesn’t remember….

In which my Grandmother doesn’t remember….

January 6, 2011 by Deanna Tousignant 11 Comments

I’m visiting my grandmother at her new “apartment” in the seniors residence.  It’s a 10 minute walk away from my house. I’m glad I can bring my girls to see her.  Seeing them always seems to make her smile.  I feel like I’m presenting the baby like an offering.  Look, grandma, I brought you something – my daughter.  It’s  a little awkward, but I’m glad I can brighten up her day.  I know she’s not happy to be here, that she wishes she were still in her home, but she needs the extra care and attention that she now has on call.

My dad is there visiting with us.  He has just taken the three year old downstairs to the the dining room in search of a cookie. I sit on the couch across from my grandmother, holding my eight month old baby in my arms. My grandmother is lying in bed, propped up with pillows.  She hasn’t had much to say this visit. She answers direct  questions, “Yes.” or  “No.”, and that’s about it.  Still she seems happy we’re there. She beams at me from across the room.   The baby is fussing around and tugging at my shirt. I start to nurse her.  I hunt in my mind for things to say.

I know after her first child was born my grandmother was ill, and in the hospital for a long time, so my aunt would have to have been raised on formula.  But what about her two younger children.  Did she nurse them I wonder?  So I ask her, “Grandma, did you nurse your babies?”

She looks sad for a moment and says “I don’t remember”.  It’s the most she’s said to me all day. “I don’t remember.” I think it’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.

My dad returns with his crumb covered granddaughter in tow.  Hugs are exchanged. We bundle up and head home.

That night I sit in a dark room, rocking my baby, nursing her and holding her close while tears stream down my face.  Could I ever forget this? Tiny body pressed close to me, sleepy, cuddly , warm. Could I forget this? Yawning, smiling little face, nursing, tugging at me.  I don’t ever want to forget this. Sitting in the darkness, rocking in our chair, flute music playing softly on the radio. I don’t ever want to forget this.

I had this sitting here, mostly written and ready to go for over a month now.  Then my grandmother passed away today and I felt that what I needed to do this afternoon was finish this up and post it.
I will miss you Grandma Rose.

Related Posts

My Silly Kids Love to Watch…
On a Windy Day You Can See the Polka-Dots
That Thing About Having a Baby…

Filed Under: Family, Just My Life Tagged With: breastfeeding, Grandma Rose

Comments

  1. RC says

    January 6, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss, D. My thoughts are with you and your family.I don't think you will ever forget nursing your sweet babies. With formula and bottles so readily available and being pushed on to consumers these days, you as a mother have to make the conscious decision to breastfeed, and experience all the challenges, triumphs, and everything else that comes with it. It's a bond between mom and babies that is too precious to ever get lost. 🙂

    Reply
  2. The Seeker says

    January 6, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    Hello my dear, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family for your lost.Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my post about my mom's loss, it brought tears to my eyes. I'm not yet in peace (The holidays are terrible for those things, remembering the ones we love that passed).But this also shall pass, I know she's with me as you will feel your grandmother will nurse you.Love to youxoxo

    Reply
  3. Erin @ CanadianGivea says

    January 7, 2011 at 6:44 am

    I'm so sorry for your loss. This was a lovely post that brought a tear to my eye.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    January 7, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    I can barely write this because the tears are streaming down my face. I lost my grandfather in September and it is always hard to lose someone you love. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Faith at homeecathome.com

    Reply
  5. EG Wow says

    January 7, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    It is sad when someone say "I can't remember." We're experiencing this with my mother-in-law, a woman who used to remember incredible details. All the best as you go through these challenging times.

    Reply
  6. MealPlanningMama says

    January 7, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    You made me cry. I know I gave you twitter love yesterday but I didn't have a chance to read the post until today. It is an amazing reminder to live in the moment we have and cherish our time on earth. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  7. Maple Leaf Mommy says

    January 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Rochelle, Seeker, Erin, Faith,… Thank you.I always worry when I post personal stuff that it’ll scare folks off. I appreciate that you took the time to comment. It means a lot to me. Faith — I’m sorry that you lost your Grandfather. I don’t know if I should apologize that my post made you cry, or say thank you.

    Reply
  8. Jaleta Clegg says

    January 11, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Hi. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. I'm so sorry for your loss.My youngest is 7 now, and sometimes I forget those nights of snuggling and nursing in the hustle of having only older children. I never thought I'd say it, but I miss the babies. Just a bit. Not the diapers or the spit-up, but the sweet baby faces and feet and the cuddling with blankies. Thank you for reminding me to write those memories down before they are gone forever.

    Reply
  9. Amee says

    January 11, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    Hi, I am Stumbiling on you from http://www.madamedeals.com

    Reply
  10. Darlene Demell says

    September 25, 2013 at 1:29 am

    So sorry for your loss. I am sure where your grandmother is now she will remember everything and smile while thinking about it.

    Reply
  11. Elva Roberts says

    April 25, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your granddaughter. It is very sad that she could not remember her babies care. She probably was sad that she could not remember. I am sure she enjoyed your visits with your children. Hugs.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Maple Leaf Mommy SocialMaple Leaf Mommy on FacebookMaple Leaf Mommy on TwitterMaple Leaf Mommy on PinterestMaple Leaf Mommy on InstagramSubscribe to Maple Leaf Mommy's RSS FeedEmail Maple Leaf MommyImage Map

Welcome

Hi, I'm Deanna, a Canadian mom with two young girls, who loves to share our adventures through the everyday.

    Click here to discover more ABOUT ME.
    Click here to sign up for my LETTERS LIST.

SEARCH THIS SITE

My Current Giveaways

For more open to Canada giveaways check out the Great Canadian Giveaway Link-Up Updates weekly.

Brought to You By…

Moms buy baby clothes on DHgate

Timbuktu Labs

A Few Favourites

* Postpartum Depression in the 1950s

* Life Lessons, Kayaking with the Dolphins

* My Life as a Sandwich

* My Kid Has Special Needs, Maybe, Sorta

* Build Your Own Sushi, for Kids

* Four Secret Rules to Make Perfect Nachos

* Being Difficult, A Birth Story

* Pinterest Perfect Mom
(published in Canadian Family)


Copyright © 2010 - 2021 · Maple Leaf Mommy · All Rights Reserved
Disclosure & Privacy Policy · Contact for Data Inquires

Maple Leaf Mommy on FacebookMaple Leaf Mommy on TwitterMaple Leaf Mommy on PinterestMaple Leaf Mommy on InstagramRSS Feed for Maple Leaf MommyEmail Maple Leaf MommyImage Map

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on MapleLeafMommy.com. We collect anonymous data to improve Maple Leaf Mommy for your enjoyment. Your privacy matters to us!Okay, I'll allow it.NoPrivacy Policy
Revoke Cookies