Things you do not want to hear from your preschooler:
But I don’t need to clean up, we can just step right over it!
I’m just putting my tongue on all of the furniture. But I’m not licking, so it’s OK.
I’ve been thinking about putting a blanket on this chair and then climbing up on it.
I put the stool on the chair so I can climb higher! (Yikes!)
I wasn’t hurting the baby… I was just trying to bounce her.
Come here kitty! I just want to love you!
You don’t have a baby in there any more but your tummy’s still HUGE! (Yeah, thanks kiddo.)
Daddy! I went poop! It came right out of my poop hole! (Or any variation on this, when exclaimed VERY loudly across a restaurant).
I peed on the floor, but it’s OK because I already cleaned it up… with your laundry.
Mom look! The Cat is sharing my breakfast!
I have a great idea! You nurse the baby and I will go in your room and play with the stuff I’m not supposed to touch. And then when you try and lay her down I will ThunkThunkThunk down the stairs. (Well at least she’s honest.)
And yes, the above are all actual quotes from my wonderful three year old, Rainbow.
Photo credit: oddharmonic
Not actually my kid, but could be, could be…