N is for… Neglect
…as in what my house suffers from but (I hope/think) my children do not.
My mom had this yellowed newspaper clipping that hung on our fridge for much of my childhood. It was from a Dear Abby letter column and it had this poem in it. I remember her telling me, when I was quite young, that she kept it there to remind her to stop and share time with us kids, something her own mother seldom did. The clipping is long gone, but lines from this poem, which I would read snatches of every time I hit the fridge for a snack, are etched in my memory forever. I was pleased to be able to track the poem down online. I’m slightly ashamed to admit, re-reading it now as a mom, it makes me cry.
My hands were busy through the day
I didn’t have much time to play
The little games you asked me to
I didn’t have much time for you.
I’d wash your clothes, I’d sew and cook,
But when you’d bring your picture book
And ask me please to share your fun,
I’d say: “A little later, son.”
I’d tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door . . .
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.
For life is short, the years rush past . . .
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play,
No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear . . .
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.
~ Alice E. Chase
And then there is this second poem, which I only first read fairly recently when some friends posted it on facebook.
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
~ Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
I find the sum of the two together is less of an anthem to dirty homes then it is a reminder to treasure our children while they are small.
Had you read either of these before?
shouldn't be ashamed to cry.and cleanliness is HIGHLY overrated.ROG, ABC Wednesday team
LOVE this post… thanks for sharing 🙂 I'm not ashamed to admit that my house looks like it's been hit by a tornado all the time. One of the best things we did after the twins were born was to hire a cleaning service so that we could spend more time doing important stuff: being with our kids.Here's a quote I think you'd like… and around here, it's exactly what it's like!:"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." ~ Phyllis Diller
You got the right priorities… those dishes aren't going anywhere, and they memories wont be of a clean kitchen, but all fun and love you gave them. Enjoy them NOW!!Loved that second poem.
Oh my goodness, this is just marvelous! How I wish I could go back and spend more time with my children but I guess I did the best I could at the time. I am going to send these poems on to my older daughter who has a 6 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. She works full time but I hope it makes her feel less uptight about spending time with them rather than doing all the chores on the weekends. Thank you SO much for this post.
Oh Rochelle I LOVE that quote!Maybe I should carve it in crayons on the wall.Glad to know I'm not the only one living in utter chaos.
Thanks for sharing these poems! They bring back happy memories. I wish I could relive these days and do it better than before.
This is such a beautiful post my dear. Thank you for reminding me what is truly important. I think too often we get caught up in the chores that we miss the small things in life…our kids.PS. Super brave of you to post your kitchen…I'll admit, mine looks the same 😉
I remember that first poem> It is so true – our children grow up so mquickly and then they are gone and lving their own lives. I wishI could remember another poem I have seen similar to the first – I'll try.Now that my kids are in their 20s, I look back and see that I did spend a lot of time with them. Great post!