Out of the Mouths of Moms…. Or Crazy Things I Say to My Three Year Old

Photo credit: Gustavo Devito

Here’s a few more of the mom things I never expected to find myself saying:

Why do you have shoes on? We’re not going anywhere. Please take them off. Yes, they do make lots of loud thunky noises. No, that is not a good reason for leaving them on.

Don’t just stand there and tell me you’re going pee, do something about it!

Your fork doesn’t go in your belly button.

Yes, it IS okay to howl like a wolf, just not while you’re eating.

If it’s been on your shoe you can’t eat it!

No I’m not putting that lollipop in the fridge to save it for later.

No monster noises at the dining room table!

Just let me know when the pretend penguins/cheetahs/Dorothys get here and I’ll set out their tea.

Even if there is a pretend giraffe in the hallway, it’s ok, because giraffes are NOT vicious creatures. No it’s not going to attack and eat you and all your little mouse friends.

In this case your pretend mousies would happen to be wrong.  Mommy knows more then a pretend mouse.

What about you folks? Please tell me I’m not the only one talking to my kids about forks, belly buttons and “shoe food”. What odd phrases do you find popping out of your mouth?